Kalk Bay Theatre & Restaurant review

I recently went and watched 2 shows at the Kalk Bay Theatre.

The Kalk Bay Theatre is housed in an old church. The theatre is on the ground floor and the restaurant and kitchen above. It’s a cute little building. The theatre is not very big, with maybe 60 or so seats, around a small stage. The restaurant probably caters for the same amount of people. The vibe is very casual, very Kalk Bay, there is no doubt that you’re behind the Lentil Curtain. As one would expect from an old building, it has character. The wooden floors, non-descript wooden furniture and open plan kitchen make it feel quite homely. The posters of various plays adorning the walls serve as a reminder of the entertainment to follow. Quite a cosy vibe and friendly too, not only the staff but also the patrons. The casual, homely vibe almost lulls one into thinking that everyone there is part of a big group rather than individual patrons.

The wine list is limited, with most wines being in the range of R100 (Red). I didn’t look at the whites, bet I imagine the selection is similar to the selection of reds, one of each cultivar. I chose a nice wine on both visits, which was fortunate as they turned out to be the highlight of the meal.

Show tickets are about R100, but you can choose the dinner & show option. The 3 course meal & show is about R200 and the pasta & show option is about R140. The first night I went I tried the 3 course meal and the second time I tried the pasta. I thought the food was very average on both occasions and both of my dining partners agreed with me. I didn’t even eat half of my food on both occasions because I just wasn’t enjoying it. I would not recommend eating there, if you want to have dinner in Kalk Bay before the show then eat at one of the many nice restaurants in Kalk Bay like Cafe des Arts or Harbour House.

After the main course everyone goes downstairs for the show and it was nice to be able to take our wine with us to sip during the show. Coffee and dessert is served after the show which is also nice because you can chat about the show and the cast (in our case it was one person because it was a one man show) come around and greet everyone which gives you an opportunity to ask them questions etc. The coffee was pretty good, they leave a plunger jug on your table and you help yourself. Dessert was strawberries and a chocolate sauce in which to dip them.

To summarise, Kalk Bay Theatre is a cosy and casual intimite theatre. If you’re a fan of intimate theatre, it would be a good venue to watch a play. I don’t suggest you eat there though.

Kalk Bay Theatre
52 Main Rd, Kalk Bay
Bookings : 073 220 5430


One response to “Kalk Bay Theatre & Restaurant review”

  1. Hi, if you asked anyone who knows me, they’d say that I’m an extremely amenable guy, not one to make a fuss or even to complain, usually looking for the good in anything. However, once in a blue moon, someone or something can cut straight through my steady tolerance and patience and boil my blood. One such incident occurred at the hands of the extremely rude and obnoxious owner of KBT.

    Let me be clear and state that I’ve frequented the KBT a number of times, and until this incident, considered it a great and much needed alternative entertainment venue and dinner event. The staff is friendly, and the food, service and price are as reasonable as can be expected for a comfortable and affordable night out with your friends and family.

    So, what I’m going to get off my chest shouldn’t harm the establishment, however, when it is administered directly by the owner, then I’m sorry, but he has brought it on himself. I vowed never to set foot inside his business again and would encourage other people to follow suite in a bid to teach people (especially in the service industry) that you can’t bite the hand that feeds.

    The incident occurred whilst supporting a friend of ours, Steve Van at the KBT a few months ago. I’ll save you the details, suffice to say, my girlfriend and I uncharacteristically complained about the R40, 2-glass carafe of warm red wine we had bought. We love our wine and pallet pretty much anything from Tussenberg to Meerlust, we’re not to fussed. I know KBT for its good value, so was disappointed at what was served as their house red which was either extremely bad wine or was clearly off. The waiter didn’t seem to have the authority to deal with sending wine back, and deferred the problem to the owner. The owner, who was already visibly flustered came over to us, not having set eyes on us prior and belted out, “What’s the problem with you now?!”. I realized from his hostile reaction that he must be confusing us with another couple and therefore, with a smile, started to explain our simple complaint. Before I could even suggest an alternative, he just shouted at us in front of all the other patrons, “Well if you don’t like it, just PAY and leave.” I was unusually lost for words but at the same time becoming rapidly angry toward this antagonistic and hostile, and in my opinion completely uncalled for response.

    As a younger man I worked as a barman for 5 years whilst studying, I’ve dealt with the most unbelievably demanding clients in my advertising career, and now, as a guesthouse owner, I know it pays to follow the first rule of the service industry, which is, ‘The customer is always right – within reason’.

    What should have been a simple replacement or alternative to our valid complaint was instead turned into a barrage of insult, accusation and unnecessary embarrassment. I didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed for daring to ask for a replacement or for the owner himself and his demonstrative behavior.

    In the end, my girlfriend and I, knowing we had done nothing wrong, concluded that the man may be the rudest most cantankerous b*stard in the Southern Peninsula, but we were determined not to let him spoil our evening and so we dutifully followed through in watching Steve Van’s performance.
    Unfortunately, I’m not so noble. The incident did affect my evening as I sat seething through the entire show. On leaving I had a few words I would like to have revenged the former ‘attack’ with, but decided instead to bite my tongue and save any more uncouth public displays.

    I hope finally, by writing this, I will alleviate this unfortunate memory and trust that karma will settle this man’s unacceptable attitude.


    Christopher Swift
    Abalone Guesthouse
    Cape Town